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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29455476">A cage for your own bird</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithReisender/pseuds/LilithReisender'>LilithReisender</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, But enough to warrant the M rating, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Don't worry they got better, Fix It, Fluff, I mean, Ignore the last episode of the show, Jack is God but he is also only three years old and needs his dads, M/M, Mentions of MCD, Mild Smut, Nightmares, Post canon, Sam is also so done with his brother and best friend though, Shipper Sam, Tags will be added as the chapters are added, Winchesters processing trauma? In MY fic? It's more likely than you think, last episode? what last episode?, like super mild</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:22:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,810</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29455476</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithReisender/pseuds/LilithReisender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a chill in the air as Dean Winchester tries to learn how to live his life without hunting. Chuck is gone. Jack is God (but still comes around for dinner.) His brother has a badass fiancee, and Dean wakes up every morning with a former-angel's arms wrapped around him. He has everything he has ever wanted, but he cannot shake the growing feeling that there is something different, something happening right under his nose.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>"I love you." Cas looked happy. Why the fuck did he look happy? Dean didn't know what Cas was saying. But he knew exactly what Cas was saying. There was a pounding noise from somewhere far way and dangerously close and Dean couldn't tell if it was Billie at the door or his own heartbeat ringing in his ears. Dean tried to step forward but he was stuck, frozen in place until Cas reached out and grabbed his shoulder. He tried to say something, but Cas was shoving him to the ground before he could even get a word out.</em> </p><p>
  <em>"Goodbye, Dean." </em>
</p><p>
  <em>The Empty leaked through reality, gurgling like some sort of broken fountain as it filled the room, taking Cas first, and then turning on Dean. He reached out for Cas, tried to move towards him, but Cas was standing still and he still looked fucking happy as the Empty swallowed him. He stood up as quick as he could, dancing around the nothingness that lunged at him in waves. It crept in slowly, pulling at Dean's feet until he couldn't move despite his struggling. It was up to his chest now, and rising steadily. It wouldn't be long before the darkness- nothingness- whatever the hell it was- crept into Dean's lungs and took him with it. The most cynical part of Dean thought that at least if the Empty took him then he would spend the rest of eternity with Cas. Dean struggled, tried to stay up, tried to reach the spot where Cas had been standing just seconds before. If he could reach there then maybe he could grab him, pull him back- but it was too late. He could feel it, feel himself being sucked into nothingness. He thought he might have heard Cas's voice as darkness wrapped around him. "Dean, Dean-</em>
</p><p>"Dean!"</p><p>Dean's eyes snapped open as he automatically reached for the gun under his pillow. Nothing. Shit. He fumbled for something, anything he could use as a weapon, but strong hands grabbed his wrists and held him still. He was soaking wet and freezing, shaking from the cold. Where the hell was he? He looked around the dimly lit space, trying to make sense of what was happening. He was in his room, in his bed, and there was somebody in there with him. Blue eyes met his as the grip around his wrists strengthened. Dean started shaking again, but this time not from fear.</p><p>"Cas?"</p><p>"Dean, you're okay," Cas said calmingly, rubbing his thumb in a circle on Dean's wrist. "You had another nightmare." </p><p>This wasn't real. Cas was dead. Dean watched him die. This was another trick, some shapeshifter or demon or djinn must have finally gotten the drop on him because there was no way that this was Cas in front of him. "Who are you?" Dean snarled, trying to yank his wrists out of the fake Castiel's grip. </p><p>"Dean. It's me."</p><p>"No, it's not. The real Castiel is dead."</p><p>"I got better." Cas cracked a half smile, as if he was sharing a joke. "Jack brought me back, Dean, remember? He helped you bring me back." Dean took a long, shuttering inhale, trying to remember. He remembered Cas dying- although he doubted he could ever forget that part- he remembered defeating Chuck, remembered Jack taking all of God and Amara's powers and using it to set Amara free and bring everyone back, and then he'd taken off to do <em>something</em> in heaven. He remembered Sam driving all night to go see Eileen and how all Dean could think about was that Cas was supposed to be there too. He remembered Jack coming to him, months later, with a plan to get Cas out. And he remembered that it actually fucking worked. Dean exhaled, closing his eyes. When he opened them again, Cas was still there, blue eyes looking at him kindly.</p><p>"Better?" Dean nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Cas let go of Dean's wrists, bringing both hands up to cup Dean's face. He was warm, and Dean couldn't help but lean into the touch, letting it ground him and bring him down from the adrenaline rush. This wasn't the first time this had happened, he knew that much, but all blurred memories of touches and whispers was all he make out in his panic-addled brain. Cas leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Dean's lips and Dean wondered how he had forgotten this even for a second. He pressed their foreheads together, taking a second to remind himself that this was real. Then he kissed Cas again, just because he wanted to, just because he actually  <em>could.</em> </p><p>"Come on Dean, lets go back to sleep." Cas gently guided them both down, wrapping his arms around Dean and pulling him close so that their chests were pressed together. Dean closed his eyes, breathing in the mix of clean bedsheets and stale air and everything Cas, and let himself drift back to sleep. It was over, they were safe.</p><p>A loud knock on the door woke him two hours later. </p><p>"For Christ's sake, I know you're "retired" or whatever, but you can't stay in bed all day with Cas just because you don't feel like getting up!" Sam called from the other side of the door. </p><p>Dean threw a pillow at the door and immediately regretted the action as there was nothing to cover his ears with to drown out Sam's nagging. Cas seemed just as happy to ignore the increasingly annoyed voice from the other side of the door as he pulled Dean closer to him. </p><p>"Dean! I don't want to come in there myself-"</p><p>"Yeah, that probably wouldn't be a good idea." Dean muttered, throwing the blankets off him and carefully untangling himself from Cas's arms. </p><p>"'ome back to bed," Cas muttered, reaching one hand blindly out to where dean lay a minute before. Dean hesitated for a second before grabbing Cas's hand and squeezing it once before letting go. Cas didn't seem to notice his hesitation, grabbing the remaining blankets and pulling them over his shoulder and burying himself in them. </p><p>"Dean!"</p><p>"Just a second." He fumbled around on the ground, looking for a pair of sweatpants that he was pretty sure he'd wore before disappearing last night with Cas. His mind was still foggy, and he only grew more confused when he realized that the pants he was fumbling at were not, in fact, <em>his</em> pants. He pulled them on anyway, it wasn't like Cas hadn't stolen a dozen of his shirts in his first few weeks of being human again- and even once they bought him some actual clothes he still stole Dean's. </p><p>"Come on grumpy. I'll make coffee." Cas groaned at him and rolled over. Dean was unprepared for the wave of affection that hit him as Cas made another annoyed noise as he tried to hide himself in the mix of blankets. Still not a morning person. Dean couldn't help but stare at Cas, warm and human and <em>alive</em>. Dean never thought he'd get anything like this. </p><p>"Someone told me its rude to watch people while they're sleeping." Cas's voice came out muffled through the pillow. </p><p>Dean laughed as he walked over to the side of the bed, running his fingers through Cas's hair just because, marveling in the fact that he could. Cas swatted at his hand halfheartedly, and instead Dean leaned down to press a light kiss to Cas's temple. "I'll see you in a few."</p><p>Cas responded with a sound that Dean interpreted as a mix of "Remind me why I stick around again?" and "I love you." It was oddly adorable and probably a sign Dean was <em>way</em> too far gone on him. Not that he would do anything to change that. Reluctantly, he turned away and creaked open the door, trying not to let too much light creep into the room.</p><p>A chill travelled down his spine as he stepped into the hall. The hairs on his arms rose and for a a second Dean thought he smelled something almost like iodine. Damn. He really needed to get about fixing the air-conditioning in this place. </p><p>He closed the door behind him and began making his way to the kitchen. He planned on making a badass breakfast for everyone, but first thing's first: he needed a cup of coffee.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Surprise! I'm back and I cannot believe I'm writing a multi-chapter fic again. Posting schedule will be nonexistent, but there will be updates because I do have this actually slightly planned out for once. As always, please feel free to point out any grammatical errors I made because I am posting this chapter at 11:50pm on a Sunday and I barely proofread this one.<br/>Tags will be added with each chapter that requires a new one so as to avoid spoilers as this is being released, and I will issue warnings for anything that might come up.</p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://goindowninablazeofglory.tumblr.com/">Come say hello on tumblr</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean was already halfway done with breakfast by the time Cas dragged his ass out of bed. </p><p>"So the zombie rises," Dean called out, walking around the counter to hand Cas a cup of coffee.  </p><p>Cas took the cup gratefully, sitting down at the table across from Sam, who was nursing one of his god-awful protein shakes that Dean swore was more complicated than half the spells in the Book of the Damned. Sam had just finished his morning run by the time Dean made it to the kitchen, and had immediately fled to the showers the second he walked in the door. Dean was all for working out, you had to do <em>something</em> to make sure you wouldn't get ganked by the next machete-wielding vampire that came at you, but <em>running?</em> Sometimes Dean wondered how he and Sam could <em>possibly</em> be related. Dean would only run in two situations: running towards a monster or running away from one.</p><p>Cas's eyes were still half closed as he took a gulp of coffee and then choked as the scalding liquid hit his tongue. Ever since becoming human again, Cas had quickly refamiliarized himself with a caffeine addiction to rival the worst of insomniacs. He claimed he liked the taste of it, but based on how much sugar he tended to add, Dean highly doubted that was the case. Cas had, unfortunately, inherited the penchant for nightmares and sleeplessness that seemed to haunt all the Winchesters. Before, Dean would commonly wake up at two, maybe three in the morning and find Cas sitting in the library reading through some old book, or maybe watching some TV show with Jack. Sometimes Dean would join him, spending the early morning hours in silent solidarity. Dean had woken up with his head resting on Cas's shoulder or lap on more than one occasion, but whenever Dean asked why Cas didn't move, he'd simply responded with <em>"you needed to rest,"</em> and never mentioned it again. Now it was Cas who sometimes needed someone to stay up with him. He never told Dean what his nightmares were about, but Cas had a tendency to talk in his sleep and he'd heard Cas call out his own name more than once followed by a string of words like <em>no, don't,</em> and <em>not him</em>. It was enough to put together a nasty picture, especially with how, on the worse nights, Cas would cling to him like he couldn't believe that Dean was still there.  </p><p>The sound of oil splattering snapped him out of his reminiscing as he hurried to make sure he hadn't inadvertently burned the bacon while he was waltzing down memory lane. Sam may be on a health kick, but nothing was stopping Dean from eating his goddamn bacon. He flipped the first few pieces and turned his attention to the dwindling stock of the fridge. They'd have to make another supply run today. He settled on using up the last of the eggs, cracking them into a bowl so he could mix them and pour them onto a pan. He felt a hand settle on his hip as a Cas rested his chin on Dean's shoulder, pressing up against him. </p><p>"'morning," he said, pressing a kiss to Dean's cheek. </p><p>"Ah, so you decided to join me in the realm of consciousness?" Dean teased. </p><p>"Mmm, still considering it. What're you making?"</p><p>Cas reached a hand out, presumably to try and steal a piece of bacon off the pan. "Hey!" Dean smacked his hand away. "I swear, you only like me for my cooking."</p><p>Dean could hear the smirk in Cas's voice. "Not <em>only.</em> But it is certainly a bonus." </p><p>"Go sit down"</p><p>
  <em>"It's an essential human skill, Dean. Like it or not, I'm human now- again- just let me-"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Sit down, Cas. Look, you just got back, you've still got to retake Human 101. Do you really think I'm going to make you fend for yourself?" Dean cut himself off and suddenly silence hung between them as Dean remembered Cas's first time being human. Kicking Cas out of the bunker had been something he never wanted to do, but at the time it felt like it was the only option. He'd explained everything to Cas once Gadreel had been taken care of and Cas had forgiven him instantly, but that didn't change anything he'd done.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Never mind," Dean sighed, turning his back to Cas. "Just- I'll show you later," then, under his breath, "let me do this Cas."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There was a beat, a second where Dean thought Cas was going to argue with him. He was so fucking stubborn sometimes. Why couldn't he just listen for once in his goddamn life. Cas sighed, and then, "Okay."</em>
</p><p>Dean turned off the burners and pulled out four plates. No matter what, no matter who was making food that morning, there was the unspoken agreement to always set out an extra plate in case Jack decided to show up. Dean left Jack's plate next to the oven and carried the other two over to the table, setting them down as he took his spot next to Cas. </p><p>"Thank you," Cas said, smiling at him before turning his attention to his plate. </p><p>Sam was smiling down at his phone, completely transfixed by whatever conversation he was having. He chuckled and began typing furiously, his protein shake half forgotten.</p><p>"How's Eileen?" Dean asked, shoveling a forkful of eggs into his mouth.</p><p>Sam's head snapped up. "How did you-" he drifted off, completely unaware of the fact that he was making the most lovestruck puppy eyes at his phone. </p><p>"Seriously, when are you going to man up and put a ring on it? If you don't, I swear I'll do it for you." Cas raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as he took another sip of his coffee. </p><p>"She's good," Sam said, ignoring Dean's question as his ears turned pink. "She said she's gonna try and make it here tonight if she can."</p><p>"Uh oh. Cas, remind me to grab the noise-cancelling headphones."</p><p>Sam flipped him off and turned back to his phone. </p><p>"Rude. I thought I raised you better than that Sammy. You need to respect your elders."</p><p>"Go fuck yourself."</p><p>That one earned a laugh from Cas, who covered his mouth with his hand.</p><p>"Hey!" Dean protested, jabbing Cas in the side with his elbow. "I thought you were supposed to be on <em>my</em> team here."</p><p>Cas had the audacity to shrug and turn back to his plate. </p><p>"Oh wait, I almost forgot," Sam said, setting his phone down on the table. "Jody called first thing this morning. Her and the rest of the girls are going to try and swing down this way sometime next week. Something about possible vamp case in Alabama." Dean vaguely remembered reading about that one the other day. Victims went missing for a few days and then were found in the middle of the town square completely exsanguinated. He was glad to hear the girls were working together for that one. </p><p>"Claire is coming here? Willingly?" Dean joked.</p><p>"I think her girlfriend had a hand in convincing her. Jody mentioned something about Claire wanting to meet her "little brother" so Cas, unless you want to be attacked, I'd suggest asking Jack to come down for a visit."</p><p>"You want me," Cas said, leveling his gaze at Sam, "to ask God to come down from Heaven so we don't have to face the wrath of Claire Novak?" There was a look in Cas's eye that reminded Dean of when they first met, of how Cas had once commanded entire armies. Electric and powerful and strong. For half a second, Dean thought he caught a whiff of ozone. </p><p>"Um, yes?" Sam said, looking at Cas nervously. </p><p>"Good idea."</p><p>There was a beat of silence, until Cas made eye contact with Dean and they all burst out laughing. It would be nice to see Jack again, although he feared the combination of a young and impressionable God and a very creative Claire Novak who apparently already thought she was Jack's big sister. One thing was for sure, the next week wasn't going to be boring. </p><p>"So, it looks like we'll have the whole band together," Dean said. "We are so going to have to go shopping."</p><p>~*~</p><p>Eileen made it to the bunker first.</p><p>Dean had hoped to be back at the bunker by the time she got there so he could say hello, but Cas had the habit of taking a <em>very</em> long time whenever Dean took him shopping. He would spend entire minutes debating whether or not to get organic or non-organic blueberries, and would regularly get distracted when he found something he thought Jack might like. What should have been a thirty minute shopping trip ended up taking over an hour. With any other person Dean might have been irritated, but, well, it was Cas. And Cas more than made up for it when he kissed Dean after loading everything into the back of the Impala. And then Cas's hand was on his thigh. And then they were doing a bit more than kissing and Dean had to find a place to park where he wouldn't get arrested for public indecency. </p><p>So yeah, shopping took longer than it should have.</p><p>By the time they made it home, Eileen had obviously already broken into the beer as Sam babbled to her about something probably related to lore. She had a look on her face that Dean had come to call the "Yes dear" face. </p><p>"Honey, we're home!" Dean called from the entryway, carrying about four grocery bags in his arms.</p><p>Eileen immediately turned around and smiled at him, ignoring Sam completely in favor of running over and crushing Dean in a hug. She repeated the same thing with Cas with matched enthusiasm and signed something to him so quickly that Dean didn't have the chance to even try and figure out what she said.  </p><p>The two of them had formed a rapid and intense friendship, and Dean would commonly see them sitting together signing entire conversations that Dean could only ever catch part of. He supposed that was a thing with dating someone who understood literally every language ever invented. He was happy for both of them though, this life could be rough and there wasn't always the chance to make friends. He suspected Sam thought the same thing. </p><p>"Sam, don't make your girlfriend do all the work. Get up here and take some of these!" Dean called down the stairs. Sam scrambled up the stairs, nearly tripping over his feet join them. </p><p>Cas handed his bags to Sam, using his now free hands to sign quicker with Eileen. He must have said something funny because Eileen turned back to face Dean, looked him up and down, and then laughed. Cas winked at him and Dean felt his face heat up. Okay so maybe he <em>did</em> know what Cas and Eileen were talking about. </p><p>They followed Sam downstairs, Cas and Eileen laughing as they watched Sam and Dean lug the grocery bags into the kitchen and begin unloading what would hopefully be their dinner for the next week or two. Cas and Eileen sat at the table while Dean and Sam did all the actual hard work.</p><p>"Hey, feathers," Dean called to Cas, "wanna help?"</p><p>"Not particularly," Cas deadpanned, "this is much more enjoyable."</p><p>"Fuck you."</p><p>"Now? Really?"</p><p>Dean snorted.</p><p>"Alright guys. You realize there are other people here right?" Sam cut in, looking somewhere between amused and embarrassed as he grabbed the next bag to unload into the fridge.  </p><p>Dean turned back only to find Cas and Eileen signing to each other again.</p><p>Dean didn't understand a lot of sign language, but he more than understood the look on Eileen's face as she watched Sam carrying the bags around. That girl was going to eat him alive. </p><p>Sam, for his part, was completely oblivious. As usual.</p><p>"So anyway," Dean said, sitting down next to Cas and leaving Sam to finish the rest. "Dinner. What does everyone want? I was thinking about heading back out and picking up chicken, since we've got a guest."</p><p>"Actually," Sam cut in, pausing at the counter, "I was going to take Eileen out for dinner tonight."</p><p>"Nice. Okay then Cas, it looks like it's just you and me tonight. What are you thinking?"</p><p>"Burgers," Cas said immediately.</p><p>"Why am I not surprised?"</p><p>~*~</p><p>Sam and Eileen left soon after. Sam looking exceedingly nervous, and Eileen, looking like she didn't have a care in the world. </p><p>Dean loved that woman. </p><p>The second they were out the door, Cas was practically on top of him, backing him up against the edge of the map table and running his hands through Dean's hair as he kissed him. Dean melted into the kiss without a thought of resistance. After twelve years of denying and pushing aside the feelings that were always bubbling beneath the surface, it was a wonder they could keep their hands off each other. Which was why Dean couldn't help but feel vaguely irritated when a familiar voice interrupted them.</p><p>"Hello!" Jack said, He smiled at them and waved. The kid didn't even know he was supposed to look embarrassed.</p><p>Cas pushed himself off Dean, turning to Jack with a raised brow. "I thought you said you would tell us before showing up," he said. His voice was collected, but Dean could see the red creeping up the back of his neck.</p><p>"Yeah kid, a little warning would be nice next time."</p><p>Jack at least had the decency to look guilty. "Sorry."</p><p>"It's-" Dean cleared his throat, "It's all good kid. It's nice to see you again." Dean pushed himself off the edge of the map table and wrapped Jack in a hug. Jack had tried to do the whole "absent-yet-kind God" thing, but after a few months he was right back in the bunker asking for Cookie-Crunch cereal and trying to figure out the decoder ring for the prize in the box. He may be God, but he was still three years old. </p><p>Dean stepped back so Cas could give Jack a hug, a stupidly warm feeling rising up in his chest as he watched Cas wrap Jack in a warm embrace. Dean loved him. He loved both of them.</p><p>"Come on, I was about to start making dinner," Dean said as Cas and Jack separated. </p><p>"Ooh! Can we have burgers?" Jack asked.</p><p>Dean laughed.</p><p><em>Like father, like son.</em>   </p><p>~*~</p><p>It was past midnight and at that point Dean had given up any thoughts about Sam coming back to the bunker tonight. Jack had gone to sleep hours ago, and Cas was sitting on the bed with Dean as they both scrolled absently on their phones. Dean knew he shouldn't be looking for cases, but old habits die hard, and there were always other hunters calling them for a new hunt. Which is why, he justified to himself, it was more than okay for him to be looking into this specific case. Just so that he could give it to someone else.</p><p>It was, ironically enough, in Hell. Even Dean could appreciate the hilarity of a town in Michigan named Hell. There were four victims so far, all men, all between twenty-four and forty-three years old. They would go missing for exactly nine days, and then the bodies would be dropped off in front of the police station. Apparently there was no DNA, no suspect whatsoever, and no clear cause of death. He'd have to do some more research, dig into any local history or stories before he could figure out what he was dealing with. Not that <em>he</em> was dealing with it. But someone would. Not him, of course.</p><p>He set the phone down on the end table, leaning over to turn off the lamp. Cas copied him, and soon they were submerged in darkness save for the crack of light under the doorframe. It was Cas who moved first, who dragged Dean underneath the blankets and pulled him close, wrapping his arm around Dean's waist. Dean buried his face into Cas's chest. Sure, the sex was nice- the sex was fucking fantastic actually- but <em>this</em> was the best thing about being with Cas. Holding him close and knowing that he never had to let go. There were no more late nights where Dean could hear Cas's footsteps just outside the door while Dean silently begged him to just <em>come in</em> already. No more of the semi-awkward mornings where Dean would wake up and find Cas staring at him like he'd hung the moon. There was just Dean and Cas and warm blankets and tangled legs and kisses pressed to every inch of skin and the fact that they were here despite everything. If Dean didn't know better, then he'd be thanking God in prayers every day. </p><p>Dean closed his eyes, letting himself drift off to sleep. Knowing there would be more bad dreams. No matter how good his life was now, he could always count on nightmares to keep him company. A chill crept through the room, pushing through the blankets and onto Dean's skin, making him shiver and curl up slightly at the sudden loss of warmth. Cas pulled him closer, pressing a kiss to Dean's forehead. </p><p>The last thing Dean thought before he fell asleep was that he really had to get that air conditioning fixed.   </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Look, I actually wrote a second chapter. Yes, there is actually a town in Michigan called Hell and it is a few hours away from where I live. Yes, it is fucking cold there.<br/>Once again, please feel free to tell me if you spotted any grammatical errors or typos in this. I'm not great at proofreading from my laptop and sometimes a word or two will get mixed around.<br/>Thank you to everyone who has read this so far, it means the world to me that people are looking at this at all. I'll try to keep posting chapters semi-regularly as I can because I really love this story and where it's going. And oh boy is it going somewhere.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you to my lovely beta: Grammarly, for making sure I didn't make a fool of myself while posting this. </p><p>CW: Mild smut for the first few hundred words, but its easily skippable and not at all super graphic. If you want to skip, just go to the spot where the break is.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning moved in like a gentle tide, slow and steady and eventually impossible to ignore. Dean woke up first- again- but this time he didn't feel like getting up quite yet. Cas was pushed up against Dean's back, his breath ghosting over the back of Dean's neck and an arm draped loosely around his waist. Dean exhaled and leaned back into Cas. He closed his eyes, ready to fall back asleep for another hour when he felt Cas's lips moving against the back of his neck.</p><p>"Hello Dean," Cas whispered into Dean's ear.</p><p>"Thought you were asleep," Dean muttered, still ready to go back to sleep himself.</p><p>"Not for a while. I just didn't want to wake you." Cas pressed a line of soft kisses up the back of Dean's neck.</p><p>"I'm awake."</p><p>"Mmm, I see that." Cas kissed right below Dean's ear, nipping slightly at the sensitive skin. A shiver of pleasure ran down Dean's spine, sending his blood away from whatever it should be doing and straight between his legs.</p><p>Cas pulled Dean against him until he could feel Cas's already half-hard length pressing into him and oh, Dean was <em>so</em> down for this. Dean loved morning sex, always had, and morning sex with Cas was always something worth waking up for. Cas pushed down Dean's sweatpants, wrapping one hand around his dick as he began to grind against him and <em>fuck</em>, if Dean wasn't hard already he certainly was now. For someone who had next to no sexual experience before this, Cas certainly knew what he was doing. He knew how to move his hand up and down Dean's dick and exactly how much pressure to add, and it would have been embarrassing how close Dean already was had he any thoughts that were more than one word long. Cas was getting close too, judging by the way he was pushing against Dean's ass. Dean flipped over so he could face Cas. Without saying a word he shoved Cas's pants down and took both their dicks in his hand. Cas let out a sigh of relief at the contact and went straight for Dean's mouth, nipping at Dean's bottom lip. Dean kept rubbing his hand against their dicks, reveling in the look of pleasure on Cas's face as Dean moved his hand faster. God, he was so <em>close</em>-</p><p>Cas came first, biting his lip to stay quiet as he spilled into Dean's hand. Little breaths escaped through his nose, and Dean watched with no small amount of pride as Cas fell back onto the bed with his eyes shut. Dean kept working himself until one of Cas's hands snaked its way around Dean's dick and began to move. Cas's eyes were still closed, but in concentration now instead of pleasure. If Cas wanted to give him a handjob that was fine by him. He let Cas take control as he arched his back. Cas knew him well, he knew how to move his hand and when to squeeze and how circling his thumb over one specific spot was enough to make Dean gasp. It wasn't long before Dean was coming into Cas's hand and onto the bedsheets. He rolled next to Cas, leaving the mess in the middle of the bed for him to deal with later.</p><p>"Thank you," Cas said. The same thing he said every time they had sex. Dean had tried to tell Cas once that he didn't have to thank him, that it wasn't like he was just doing Cas a favor, that it was something Dean wanted too, but Cas had told him in no uncertain terms that the thank you was just as much for him as it was for Dean. There was something more behind Cas's eyes as he said this, but Dean decided not to push it. Cas had his reasons, and Dean knew by now to just let him be about stuff like that.</p><p>"Anytime," Dean said, still slightly breathless.</p><p>"Dean?"</p><p>"Yes?"</p><p>"I love you."</p><p>Dean's chest clenched at the words, the way it always did. Cas said them freely now, but sometimes Dean still struggled to return them even though the feeling was there. He'd never been exactly good with words. Flirting was easy, light quips and innuendo that rarely meant anything. This was harder, being with Cas, being <em>honest</em> with Cas. Some days everything he wanted to say got stuck in the back of his throat and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get it out, not the right way, not the way he wanted. This morning though, the words fell through his lips as easy as breathing.</p><p>"I love you too." He pressed a kiss to Cas's temple before falling back to the gentle lull of sleep.</p><p> </p><p>It was another hour and a half before Dean stepped out of his room only to be greeted by Eileen trying- unsuccessfully- to sneak quietly out of Sam's room. She was wearing what at first glance might have been a nightgown, but upon further inspection revealed itself to actually be one of Sam's shirts that Dean vaguely remembered from his Stanford days. She may or may not have been wearing shorts underneath it. The shirt really was gigantic on her. She turned around to face Dean, and if she was at all embarrassed or surprised to see him, she didn't show it. She cocked one eyebrow and motioned for him to follow her down the hall.</p><p>Jack, unsurprisingly, was already awake and breaking into the cereal. The kid barely slept before becoming capital-G God. Frankly, Dean had a sneaking suspicion that Jack only slept now because he liked sleeping- and because he would always listen to anything Cas told him to do. Dean ruffled the kid's hair before starting up the coffee machine.</p><p>Eileen pulled out the gallon of orange juice that Sam had insisted on buying yesterday and sat on the counter after pouring herself a glass.</p><p>"Where's Sam?" Dean asked her, "did he go running this morning or did you tire him out too much last night?"</p><p>"Sam's still asleep."</p><p>"Sam is not still asleep." Sam's voice sounded from around the corner. His hair was completely disheveled, sticking out at angles that should have been impossible.</p><p>"Hey! Morning Sammy!"</p><p>Sam ignored him and made a b-line for Eileen, kissing the top of her head. Like clockwork, Cas came into the kitchen just a minute later, only instead of going to say hi to Dean, he went straight for the coffee machine. Rude. All was made well however, when Cas stood next to Dean and kissed him good morning. Okay, technically they had already kissed good morning, but Dean would be damned if he wasn't going to take advantage of every single bit of this relationship that he could get. It wasn't like Cas was complaining.</p><p>"Ew," Sam said, "can you two not be disgustingly adorable for five minutes? I just want to eat breakfast in peace."</p><p>"No can do." Dean turned back to Cas and gave him an overexaggerated kiss on the lips to prove his point. Cas rolled his eyes, but didn't pull away.</p><p>"Once again, ew."</p><p>"Oh, like you have any room to judge," Dean said, gesturing between Eileen and Sam. "Eileen, when are you moving in officially? You're already here most days of the week."</p><p>Eileen turned to Sam, a silent conversation passing between them. Sam's eyes kept glancing between Dean and Eileen at a speed that Dean didn't think was humanly possible. If Dean didn't know better, he'd say Sam looked <em>nervous.</em> But he does know better and Sam looks fucking nervous.</p><p>"Do you want to tell them, or should I?" Eileen asked, "I will do it for you."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah I think that might be best."</p><p>"Tell us what?" Cas asked, a smile ghosting the corners of his lips as if he already knew what was going on.</p><p>Instead of answering, Eileen simply held out her left hand to Dean.</p><p>No fucking way.</p><p>Dean reached and grabbed Eileen's hand and yep, that was definitely a ring on her hand. It was a simple silver band with three clear gems in the middle. Dean looked at Eileen's hand, then at Eileen, then back to Eileen's hand, then to Sam, and then Dean was practically jumping over the countertop to get to Sam and pull him into a hug. He could hear Cas congratulating them in the background as he squeezed his brother's shoulders. His little Sammy, <em>engaged</em>. Dean could not have been more proud or happy for him, for both of them.</p><p>He patted Sam on the back and then pulled Eileen into a crushing hug. For a tiny girl, she certainly gave as good as she got, and Dean was pretty sure he felt a rib creek as she squeezed her arms around his chest. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head before pulling away.</p><p>"Welcome to the family," he said, squeezing her shoulder before stepping back to let Jack give her a hug as well.</p><p>"Don't you go getting sappy on me just because I'm going to be your sister-in-law. I can and will still kick your ass."</p><p>Dean laughed, "I have no doubt about it."</p><p>Dean looked around the room, a warm feeling swirling in his chest. This here, this was everything he had ever wanted. Sam, happy and engaged to a beautiful, smart, and terrifying woman; Cas at Dean's side where he belonged, and Jack with his entire family surrounding him.</p><p>Cas made his way to Dean, linking their hands and intertwining their fingers. Cas was beaming at Sam and Eileen, who were both blushing now, and Dean leaned over to press another kiss to Cas's cheek.</p><p>"Wait," Eileen said, her voice dead serious. All the happy chatter stopped immediately as they faced Eileen.</p><p>There was a grave expression on her face as she met their eyes. "If I marry Sam," she said, "does that make me God's stepmother? Aunt?"</p><p>Eileen looked at Cas. Cas looked at Dean. Dean looked at Sam, who burst out laughing. "Something like that, yeah."</p><p>Jack beamed at Eileen. Dean didn't think the kid would have any problem with Eileen becoming a member of the family. Hell, she was already family, this was just Sam <em>finally</em> making it official.</p><p>"I'm happy for you guys," Dean said, "it's about time that you settled down Sammy. Although I thought Eileen had better taste."</p><p>"Thank you?" Sam said, tilting his head and narrowing his eyes as he tried to figure out whether or not that was a compliment.</p><p>"Yeah, I thought I did too," Eileen sighed as she leaned against Sam, wrapping a hand around his waist.</p><p>"Hey!"</p><p>Dean couldn't help but laugh at the indignant look on Sam's face. He was laughing, he was laughing, he was laughing but the voice coming out of his mouth wasn't his. The voice wasn't coming from his mouth, it was coming from inside his head and he didn't know this voice, he'd never heard it before but it was as familiar as his own. It belonged in his head. It was coming out of his mouth. He couldn't hear it. He never wanted to hear it again. He was so cold. Water dripped down his face in maddening single drops, but he was dry even though he could feel the cold liquid seeping into his skin. He heard voices, Sam and Jack and Eileen, but they were so far away and he couldn't make them out. He tried to focus, but the laughing in his head was so <em>loud.</em> He couldn't think, couldn't see, couldn't move. Why couldn't he move anymore? He had been standing just a minute ago, hadn't he? It felt like he hadn't moved in days. Dean's arms were numb and he was so, so, cold and all he wanted was to be warm again, but the voice was laughing and he didn't want to know what would happen when it stopped. It wouldn't be good. The voice was so loud, and Dean thought he could never escape it. It rang through his head and vibrated in his chest and all Dean wanted was for it to get out, but he couldn't because it was there, it was there and Dean couldn't think, couldn't breathe. He was trapped. He was back in Hell. He knew it. He was back in Hell and this time he wouldn't be coming back. There would be no angel to rescue him this time, and he was back in hell and the demons were laughing at him. Dean was screaming. Dean was laughing. He was laughing but the voice coming out of his mouth wasn't his.</p><p>There was a hand on his shoulder, crystal clear eyes looking down at him in worry, and suddenly Dean could breathe.</p><p>Cas was crouching over him, one hand on Dean's cheek and one hand on his shoulder. "Dean," he said, his voice wavering, "Dean are you okay? Dean, please talk to me."</p><p>"Cas? What-" Dean was cut off as Cas pulled him into a hug, practically cradling Dean against his chest. Dean clung to Cas, holding him tightly, not caring that Sam, Eileen, and Jack were all staring at him.</p><p>"Dean," Sam said from somewhere behind him, his voice clear now, "are you all right?"</p><p>"I'm-" He couldn't remember what happened. His heart was racing in an uneven gallop, and he felt like he could go to sleep right now and not wake up until tomorrow night.</p><p>"I'm always alright," Dean said, pulling away from Cas's hold, but not letting go of him entirely. Cas helped him to his feet, keeping a hand on Dean's elbow as he stood up.</p><p>Dean was freezing, despite his layers of clothing. <em>Maybe there's a ghost in the bunker,</em> some delusional part of him thought as he shivered. There wasn't a ghost in the bunker, that he knew for sure. After the whole Mrs. Butters thing, Sam and Dean had double and triple checked the bunker for any other spirits or entities currently living there. Sage, exorcisms, the whole deal. Besides, despite Dean's current state, he hadn't felt any cold spots before... whatever the hell had just happened.</p><p>"Sorry," Dean turned to Eileen, "here you are telling me the best goddamn news of your life and then... <em>that</em>."</p><p>"You'll just have to make it up to me then," Eileen said, a mischievous glint in her eye.</p><p>Dean loved his future sister-in-law. "Why do I get the feeling I'm not gonna like whatever it is you've got spinning in that little head of yours?"</p><p>Eileen had the audacity to shrug and turn away from him. The conversation was dropped after that, although a new tension hung heavy in the air. Cas kept casting worried glances over at Dean as if he thought he was going to keel over and die on the spot.</p><p>Dean insisted on making a celebratory breakfast despite the protests from Sam and Cas, pulling out everything he needed for omelets so good they would be asking for seconds. They'd tried to help, claiming that he probably shouldn't be working near hot things alone in case he collapsed again, but Dean shoved them off and made everyone sit down. He wasn't going to break the next time he heard a loud noise. He could make a few omelets god damnit.</p><p>He could feel Cas's eyes on his back as he cooked. Cas probably thought he was going to fall apart again. He hated it, the knowledge that Cas felt sorry for him.</p><p>Dean focused on the task in front of him, falling into the comfortable trance of scrambling, mixing, flipping, and repeat, until he had enough food for everyone and then some.</p><p>The air shifted as Dean sat down at the table, where everyone had been talking lightheartedly about Sam and Eileen's date the night before, now they stared at him in concern. Dean clenched his fist. He thought that he might punch something if they kept looking at him like that. Cas grabbed his clenched hand underneath the table, smiling like they were the only people in the room. He tugged gently on Dean's hand until his fist relaxed and Cas intertwined their fingers. Dean was lost in him. Lost in his smile and in the light of his eyes and the weight of Cas's hand in his.</p><p>"Thank you for breakfast," Cas said, flashing that gummy smile. Dean loved him. Dean loved him so much it hurt. He squeezed Cas's hand.</p><p>The playful chatter resumed over the table. Sam and Eileen were obnoxiously adorable. Dean had heard the filthiest things come out of that woman's mouth, but when Sam called her beautiful as he recounted the events of their date the night before, Eileen actually blushed. Then she punched Sam in the shoulder, and all was right with the world.</p><p> </p><p>Jack had to leave all too soon. He rarely appeared for more than a day at a time. Running heaven was a full-time job, and Dean knew that they needed him up there. That didn't make it any less hard to say goodbye.</p><p>Cas enveloped Jack in what must have been a bone-crushing hug, and a lump formed in Dean's throat. He wished Jack could stay, not just for his sake, but for Cas's too. He almost wished that Jack hadn't been born a super-baby so he could have had the chance to grow up normally before going to run heaven. He briefly considered what it would have been like to raise Jack like that, him and Cas taking care of Jack as a baby, and something tugged at his heart. Jack hugged Dean next, and if Dean held on a little bit longer than usual, no one said anything about it.</p><p>Next was Sam and Eileen, who made him promise to show up for the wedding.</p><p>"Oh, don't worry I'll be there. And I'll come back before the wedding too! Heaven is nice, but I miss you sometimes."</p><p>"Just sometimes huh?" Sam joked</p><p>"Most of the time," Jack corrected himself, scrunching up his nose. "Don't tell them I said this, but the angels are... not as fun as you guys." He looked around like one of them might have been listening.</p><p>"That is certainly true," Cas laughed.</p><p>"Come back soon, you hear me?" Dean said as Jack pulled away from Sam and Eileen.</p><p>Jack nodded. "I will."</p><p>He waved at them, and then he was gone. Sam and Eileen dispersed back into the kitchen to finish what was left of the food and start cleaning up. Cas hovered at Dean's side, staring into the space where Jack had been.</p><p>"I never like it when he leaves," Cas muttered as he turned to Dean.</p><p>"I know. Me neither."</p><p>Then, without warning, Cas cupped Dean's cheeks and pulled him into a kiss, pressing against him desperately, like he thought Dean would push him away. Even as Dean melted into the kiss, there was something in Cas's movement that felt off. The way he pushed against Dean's lips, the way his hands were gripped like a vice around Dean's wrists.</p><p>"What was that for?" Dean asked as Cas pulled away and pressed their foreheads together.</p><p>"I love you." And dammit, the words still made his heart flutter.</p><p>"I love you too." Dean pulled Cas into another kiss. A chill crept down Dean's spine as their lips met once more, and he wrapped his arms around Cas's waist and pulled him closer, trying to steal some of Cas's warmth.</p><p>Dean really needed to get the air conditioner fixed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay, I have never written anything resembling smut before and I am also very much a lesbian who isn't attracted to men at all so this was a shot in the dark. I hadn't planned on writing the scene at the beginning of the chapter, but it felt like it would fit the story and the direction I was taking it.<br/>So, what do you think is happening with Dean?<br/>Feel free to scream at me in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean wasn't used to quiet. </p><p>The white light from the computer screen was giving him a headache, and the only noise in the bunker was the faint whirr of the fans and the not-so-gentle pounding of his own heartbeat. Dean wasn't made for quiet, not this motionless heavy thing that sat around him like fallen branches at the bottom of a lake. Dean had always dreamed of peace, of stillness, of a life where they could stop and bask in the silence of a safe world; but after so many years of noise, of voices calling through hallways and footsteps on the other side of the door, silence was a threat. Silence was a reminder-</p><p><em>Silence. That was all Dean could hear. It was the only thing left in the world. Cas was- he was- Cas wasn't there and the world was quiet. Cas's last words rang through his head, pounded at the inside of his ribs in an irregular rhythm of I love you, I love you, I love you. The bunker was so damn quiet, and his head was so damn loud.</em> "I love you," <em>the words fell off his lips, a secret spoken too late. The truth finally revealed, not to fall on deaf ears, but to fall on no ears at all. Dean buried his face into his hands and, for the first time in more years than he cared to remember, Dean sobbed.</em></p><p>Dean lunged for his phone, shoving headphones in his ears and clicking on the first song that came up. He closed his eyes and let the opening melody of <em>What is and What Should Never Be</em> bring him back to Earth. He fought back a shiver.</p><p>Cas was back. They had won. Everything was okay.</p><p>For some reason he couldn't make himself believe it. </p><p>He turned back to his computer and did what every hunter does when they're feeling restless: started looking for a new case. He could hear Cas's voice in his head berating him for literally going looking for trouble the second he left the house. Dean promptly ignored it. He wasn't searching for very long before a headline caught his eye: <em>Suspects not found, Serial Killer from Hell Still at Large.</em> Right. Dean vaguely remembered reading about that. He'd meant to bring it up, send it along to Claire, or maybe the Banes twins, but he just... hadn't gotten there yet. This whole "retirement" thing was new to him okay? He could do a little bit more digging into a case if he wanted to. It wouldn't hurt anyone. In fact, Dean was probably going to help someone by doing the boring work for them. </p><p>He clicked on the link. A local news site opened up in a new tab. Dean glanced over both shoulders before turning his attention back to the computer screen. </p><p>
  <strong>SUSPECTS NOT FOUND, SERIAL KILLER FROM HELL STILL AT LARGE</strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Four men have gone missing in Hell, Michigan since November 25th. In that time, all four bodies were recovered, but there is no evidence yet as to who could have committed such a heinous crime. Local police stations are stumped and are asking the public to come forward if they have any information about the killer or his latest victim: a 24 year old Alec McDonnel.</em>
</p><p>There was a picture of a guy so young he might as well still be in high school. Short hair, brown eyes, all freckles. At first glance he reminded Dean a bit of Alfie the Weiner Hut angel. </p><p><em>Alec disappeared from his home on April 15th. As with the other victims, police there was no sign of a struggle or break in.</em> </p><p>Dean began running through the usual checklist. So far his bets were on shifter, vamp, or ghoul. There was always the possibility that it was just a regular human serial killer too, in which case Dean was going to have to step back and let the police do their jobs. But maybe...</p><p>
  <em>"The previous victims were all placed at the front of the police station exactly nine days after they were reported missing," said Captain Lister at this morning's press meeting. "Unfortunately, we must assume the same time frame with this case. We will notify the press should any new developments arise." The captain then declined further comment.</em>
</p><p>There it was. Evidence. Just enough that Dean was pretty sure he was on to something here. He picked up his phone to call Sam. He'd want to hear about this one, maybe even tag along. It would be just like old times, a good family hunting trip.</p><p>Dean shook his head. What the hell was he thinking? They were done with hunting. They'd agreed: saving Cas would be their last case. If they caught something they could send it along to the next capable hunter and, "Enjoy the world we've worked so hard to save," as Cas said at the time. But still, there was definitely <em>something</em> going on here. He couldn't just let that go. He still had a job god damnit. He opened up a new tab and began to type "Ghost Stories Hell Michigan" when a tap on his shoulder made him nearly fall out of his seat.</p><p>"Jesus Christ Cas!" Dean exclaimed, "I swear I'm going to put a bell on you or something."</p><p>Cas raised his eyebrows as he peered over Dean's shoulder. "What are you looking at?" he asked, "I said your name multiple times and you didn't answer." </p><p>Dean slammed the laptop shut, heat flooding the back of his neck. "Sorry, I-" he struggled, and then- "It's supposed, to be a surprise. You can't see it yet."</p><p>Cas's phase morphed from curiosity to confusion. "You're- a surprise?"</p><p>"Geez, don't look so shocked. I can be nice sometimes."</p><p>Cas smiled that beautiful gummy smile, and Dean was hit with an overwhelming pang of guilt. "You're very nice. A lot of the time." He squeezed Dean's shoulder. "I'll... I'll leave you be, then. Good luck with your planning."</p><p>Dean cursed himself as Cas left the room. He hated this. He hated going behind everyone's back like this. It wasn't fair to Sam, it wasn't fair to himself, it certainly wasn't fair to Cas. He'd asked one thing, when he got back, and that was that there would be no more lies. There were too many deceptions and half-truths between them to keep going like they had. Dean glanced out the door where Cas had left and considered the cost of calling him back in and telling him everything right now. He opened his laptop started typing.  </p><p>Yep. Dean was the worst scumbag in the universe.</p><p>~*~</p><p>Cas had really embraced being human this time around, and that included everything that went along with it. He was fussy and grumpy in the mornings and liked pop music more than anything Dean had in his collection, and ever since his return to humanity he'd really leaned into touch. Dean might've had a hand in that. He'd pulled Cas out of the Empty and held him until his arms were numb, until he believed that it was really Cas and that they were alive. Now Cas was everywhere. He would graze his hand over Dean's shoulder as he walked by, throw an arm around Dean's waist in public in a way that Dean pegged as more than a little bit possessive. He would sit too close on couches and lean against Dean's side just because he could. Dean hadn't been too sure about all that touching at first, but Cas hadn't given him the option of discomfort. Dean was okay with that. He was <em>really</em> okay with the way Cas's arms wrapped around him and pulled him close in bed, with the tangle of legs and the rising of Cas's chest against him.</p><p>"Hey, Cas?" He had to tell him, had to at least let him know that he was looking.</p><p>"Mhmm?" Cas buried his face into Dean's neck. "'s cold."</p><p>"Yeah, I should probably get working on that." <em>Coward. Just tell him.</em></p><p>"Not right now though."</p><p>"Not right now," Dean agreed. Another pang of guilt ran through him as Cas pressed a kiss to the back on Dean's neck. </p><p>Dean was meticulous. He had made sure to delete his browser history as soon as he was done searching the web for more details- the last thing he needed was Cas or Jack deciding to use his laptop and coming across his research. He'd written everything down and hidden the file in an old duffle bag at the bottom of his closet. Dean knew how to cover his tracks. That didn't stop the shame as he did it. They were better now. They didn't have to deal with any of that shit anymore. Why was he obsessing about this? He could tell Cas and say he was going to pass it along and everything would be fine. </p><p>"You were saying something?" Cas muttered against Dean's neck.</p><p>"Oh." <em>Tell him.</em> "Yeah. Did Sam tell you when Jody and the girls are stopping by?"</p><p>"Two days from now. They were supposed to be here tomorrow, but apparently Claire got them all sidetracked."</p><p>"'atta girl," Dean chuckled. Okay, this could work. He could hand it off to Claire, lord knows the girl was always asking for something new to work on. This could give her a nice little hunt and get the itch of Dean's back at the same time. </p><p>"Why do you ask?"</p><p>"Need to know when to start making extra food."</p><p>"I'm sure Kaia will help you. Or Jody. Or-"</p><p>"Jack?" Dean laughed. The last time Jack had tried to use the oven he'd melted a cutting board and almost set a chicken on fire. He sure did take his "do not interfere" stance seriously. </p><p>"Maybe not."</p><p>"Yeah, maybe not the best idea there."</p><p>Dean felt another kiss to the back of his neck as Cas settled against him. "Goodnight, Dean."</p><p>"Goodnight." Dean leaned into the warmth of the sheets and blankets and <em>Cas,</em> always Cas, trying to remind himself that the arm around his waist wasn't a figment of his imagination.</p><p>~*~</p><p>The girls arrived in a tornado of laughter, complaints, and punches.</p><p>Claire sprang into the bunker first, hauling Kaia behind her as she energetically announced their arrival. It didn't seem to matter that Kaia had been to the bunker more than Claire, she just followed as Claire marched down the stairs, hugged Cas, and then punched him in the arm. </p><p>"Why did I have to learn from Kaia that I have a brother?" Claire demanded, glaring at both of them. </p><p>"Nice to see you too," Dean said, crossing his arms. Claire punched him. The girl had one hell of a swing.</p><p>"Hi Dean. Hi Cas," Kaia chimed in from behind her seething girlfriend.</p><p>"Hey Kaia," Dean smiled at her. They'd gotten off to a rough start, but Dean liked the kid. She was tough. She looked better now than she had when he first met her. Not as gaunt, not as tired. Hell, she might have even grown an inch.</p><p>Cas and Claire were still going at their little family argument. "Claire, he's not actually your brother," Cas started.</p><p>Claire cut him off. "Nope. Try again."</p><p>"Because..." Cas trailed off. He turned to Dean in a clear plea for help. Dean shrugged and walked away, leaving Cas to defend himself in what was clearly a losing battle. </p><p>Jody was at the top of the stairs, carrying an impossible number of bags on her arms. Dean held out his arms and Jody unceremoniously dumped three of the five duffle bags in his arms, nearly throwing him off balance as he brought them down to where everyone was gathered around the map table.</p><p>Cas was a soldier, a warrior of heaven. He'd fought battles Dean could never even imagine, but against Claire Novak, Cas was overpowered.</p><p>"You didn't want me to have to worry about something else? Really Castiel?" Full name. Cas was in <em>trouble.</em> </p><p>"You shouldn't have to worry about protecting anyone else," Cas defended himself, "Besides, It wasn't as if I intentionally didn't let you meet. But having you both together would only have put you at more risk."</p><p>"Since when has that ever stopped any of you?" </p><p>"Okay, Claire that's enough," Jody cut in, setting the duffle bags on top of the map table. "I think he gets the message."</p><p>"So? Where is he?" Claire demanded.</p><p>"Hello," a voice came from behind them all. Claire jumped and turned on her heels. Jack smiled and waved from the opposite end of the room. "Hi Kaia!" Kaia smiled at him in acknowledgement. He bounded over to where the girls were standing. "Hi Claire." Jack's eyes were shining with enthusiasm and oh no, Dean had a <em>very</em> bad feeling about this. </p><p>"This is Jack?" Claire asked, tilting her head and squinting her eyes in a way that made Dean nearly do a double take. He was pretty sure she hadn't picked that up from Jimmy. She turned to Cas, "Why does he look like you? Also, aren't you four?"</p><p>Dean would be lying if he hadn't wondered that exact same thing. Jack cut in before Cas could begin to answer. "Because Castiel is my father, and I learned that children are supposed to resemble their parents. I am four years old." Jack held up four fingers. </p><p>Claire clearly needed a second to process this. She blinked. "If Cas is your father, then I say you're my brother." Claire walked over to him and shook his hand. Dean wanted to ask her about that logic, but figured it was better not to push it.</p><p>"I've never had a sister before."</p><p>"Well, I'm the best one you're ever gonna get." </p><p>"Wait. He's only <em>four</em>? And you said he's died <em>how</em> many times?" She leveled a glare at Cas. </p><p>Jack cut in just in time to save Cas (and Dean) from another series of verbal attacks. "Come on, I'll show you your room. It's right next to mine!" Jack said excitedly. He wandered off into the hallway chattering excitedly as Kaia followed behind them.</p><p>"Well, that's going to be interesting." Jody said after a beat, staring off into the direction the kids had left. She hugged Dean and then Cas. "It's nice to see you again," she smiled. "Where's bigfoot?" </p><p>"He's..." Dean trailed off. He didn't know. Why didn't he know?</p><p>"Sam got called away by some old hunter friends. They needed help with research. He should be back in a day or two," Cas answered.</p><p>Right, right he knew that. Sam sent a text this morning saying he was heading out, and then Jack had decided that he wanted to make a smoothie using Sam's machine and Dean made him clean up after the lid popped off and smoothie exploded everywhere. Dean didn't know how he'd forgotten. </p><p>"Where's Donna?" Dean asked, "Also, what about Patience and Alex? I thought we were getting all the girls in one place for once."</p><p>"Right. Like that would ever happen," Jody laughed. "Donna's up taking care of her niece, Alex didn't want to take off work and Patience has school- although I'm pretty sure they just wanted the house to themselves for a few days." </p><p>There was a loud bang from down the hall that stopped Dean before he could reply. Curses travelled down the hall, and Dean looked at Jody and sighed. "Kids. Can't leave them alone for ten minutes without blowing something up."</p><p>"Lets see what happened this time."</p><p>~*~</p><p>Claire insisted on their innocence, claiming that it wasn't their fault items in the bunker hadn't been properly labeled and they had no way of possibly knowing that opening a specific vase would unleash a small amount of Greek fire into the hallway. They'd managed to put it out before any major damage happened- thanks to Cas and his <em>extremely</em> convenient memory of ancient spells- but Dean didn't think he was ever <em>not</em> going to smell smoke when he walked down that hall. At least Kaia had the decency to look guilty.</p><p>Jack, for his part, seemed to have imprinted on Claire, hanging onto her every word like it was gospel- which Dean couldn't help but see the irony of. Claire did not seem to mind this <em>at all.</em> Dean was seventy-five percent certain that getting them all together was a bad idea, but hey, Dean was the king of bad ideas so who was he to judge?</p><p>His phone buzzed from his back pocket. It was Sam. <em>"Hey Dean. It doesn't look like I'm going to be able to make it back for a few more days.</em>" Three dots appeared underneath the message, disappeared, and then, a second later, <em>"There was a bit of a complication. Everything is fine."</em> Underneath that, <em>"Don't freak out."</em></p><p>"Don't freak out." The perfect set of words to make Dean worry.<em>"Do you need a hand?"</em> Dean typed back. He almost hoped Sam said yes. Almost. He glanced over at Cas, who was trying to understand something on Claire's phone. It was fine, it didn't count if he was offering to help his brother. Cas would know better than to get in the way of that. </p><p>"<em>No, like I said. We're all good. Just gotta help out with some research."</em></p><p>Dean didn't know how he felt about that. A part of him felt relieved that Sammy didn't need him for this. All grown up and everything. And then there was the small part that wanted to help, to go back out with a machete and a shotgun and see what else was out there. Dean sent a thumbs up emoji and then put his phone away.</p><p>He pulled his flannel closer as he sat down next to Jody. Jesus fuck it was cold in here. Jody, however, seemed unaffected by the slowly shrinking temperature. They listened as Claire shared hunting stories with Jack, no doubt exaggerating the details for dramatic effect because there was <em>no possible way</em> that Claire managed to decapitate four vamps with one machete swing.</p><p>Claire defended herself when Dean called her out on her bullshit. "It is absolutely true! Kaia, tell him."</p><p>"It's true," Kaia said, "saw it myself."</p><p>"You don't hunt," Jody cut in, "and you weren't there."</p><p>"Dreamwalker."</p><p>"I'm pretty sure that's <em>not</em> how that works," Dean muttered, but he didn't know enough about Dreamwalking to say for sure.  </p><p>"Really kid, it's a crime that they kept me from you for so long," Claire said, turning to Jack and throwing her arm around his shoulder. "I have <em>so much</em> to teach you about the ways of the world."</p><p>"We did <em>not</em>-" Cas began, but stopped as he realized he would be entering a losing battle once again.</p><p>"I don't know about you guys," Jody said abruptly, standing up and rolling her shoulders back, "but I'm starting to get hungry. I'm going to be in the kitchen if anyone needs me."</p><p>"Oh, can you bring us something out too please?" Claire asked, batting her eyelashes.  </p><p>"Why don't you make something for yourself for once?" Jody shot back. She nodded at Dean, who wordlessly stood up to join her. Dean may have been a decent cook most of the time, but he had nothing on Jody, and he was pretty intent on stealing her whole system for cooking chicken.</p><p>The two of them fell into a comfortable rhythm as Dean showed her everything in their impressive (though admittedly outdated) kitchen. They were good like that together, throwing in a few jokes or stories to pass the time, but ultimately enjoying each other's company. </p><p>Kaia joined them just as Jody was beginning to search for a tray for the thawing meat on the table. With everything else covered, Kaia was immediately delegated to dish duty. She didn't complain. </p><p>"I'm putting on some music," Jody declared after about twenty minutes of relative silence. She pulled out her phone and hit play on some girl group that Cas would definitely know and that despite himself, Dean sort of liked- although he would never admit it even if his life depended on it. Without meaning to, he began to tap the beat with his foot as he searched through the pantries for a seasoning he'd picked up last time he was in Missouri. He turned around and saw Jody trying to get Kaia to dance with her, spinning and dragging her away from the kitchen sink. Dean couldn't help but laugh as Kaia fumbled her way around, making up for lack of talent with enthusiasm. </p><p>"Don't think you're getting out of this one," Jody warned, pointing a finger at Dean. Kaia returned back to her post, swaying back and forth as the song ended and moved to the next one, the same high voice filling the air in a slightly faster tempo. Without warning, Jody was grabbing Dean's arm, pulling on him until he gave in and joined her. She took his hand, and Dean didn't protest the way he might have, the way that every instinct in his body was telling him to. Jody was smiling at him, Dean was pretty sure he was smiling back. Dean had never learned how to dance, not really. Part of being a hunter meant never letting your guard down, and that was exactly what dancing did. He remembered a hunt he'd been on. Werewolf. There'd been a guy there, really cute. They'd flirted and he'd tried to get Dean on the dance floor. It worked. Dean had a good time until he walked out an hour later and found the wolf in a back alley with the guy's heart in between its teeth. Dean shook his head and forced his body to relax and go with the movement. He let Jody lead him around, following the rhythm with something that might have somewhat resembled a swing dance had Dean been paying any attention to what his feet were doing or known to recognize the pattern. The song ended all too quickly, and Jody laughed as she dropped his hand and they returned to their tasks. </p><p>The album moved on to something slow and the air in the room shifted. He wanted to ask if they could skip the song, but he saw how Jody swayed along to the woman's low crooning, and he decided to leave it alone. </p><p>He didn't see Cas come in the kitchen. Dean simply looked up from where he was chopping lettuce for Jody, and there he was leaning against the doorway with a wistful smile on his face. A few years ago Dean would have asked him what that look was about. Now he knew better. Now he knew what it meant.   </p><p>Without warning, Jody dragged him away from the countertop and practically threw him at Cas. Thank god Cas still had some of his old speed, because he was grabbing on to Dean's waist before he could trip over his own feet and practically holding him up. Dean stood there, frozen. No matter where he was or what was happening, Cas still managed to make Dean breathless. </p><p>"Hello, Dean," Cas whispered in his ear. Dean felt Cas's hands drift down to rest on his hips, and somehow Dean found himself with his arms around Cas's shoulders with no memory of having put them there. Cas couldn't dance and neither could Dean, so they ended up standing in place, swaying to the music. Dean was right, Cas <em>did</em> know this song. He whispered the lyrics against Dean's ear, and Dean found himself with a newfound appreciation for whoever had written them. A shiver crept down Dean's spine, and he stepped impossibly closer to Cas, letting the warmth of him seep into Dean's bones. </p><p>The main melody tapered off slowly, and Cas pulled Dean's head down and tilted him into a kiss as the last note rang. It was slow and sweet and Dean realized for the tenth time that day that he was an idiot for waiting so long when they could have had this the whole time.</p><p>"Ew!" </p><p>Cas and Dean jumped apart. Claire was standing at the entryway, one hand covering's Jack's face and her own eyes squeezed shut, her whole face scrunched in disgust. </p><p>"Claire," Cas started in the tone that usually came with a lecture, but Claire cut him off- almost literally- by pointing a sword at him. </p><p>"Nope. Don't even start, Castiel. I just never want to see that again."</p><p>"What?" Jack asked as he tried to duck his way out of Claire's grip. "What were they doing?"</p><p>"Doesn't matter. Anyway, I'm teaching Jack how to sword fight."</p><p>"Like in Star Wars!" Jack added helpfully. </p><p>"You're what?" Cas demanded, shaking his head.</p><p>"Yep, just like in Star Wars, buddy."</p><p>"Jack, I don't want you-" Cas tried again,</p><p>Claire put a stop to that before Cas could even start. "He's God, right? It's not like I can actually hurt him." </p><p>They ran away before anyone could stop them.</p><p>"That's probably a bad idea," Dean said, turning his attention back to Cas.</p><p>"Agreed, but unfortunately she is right," Cas sighed, "there is quite literally nothing she can do that could physically harm him." </p><p>"As long as they don't set the universe on fire, everyone will be fine," Jody said from behind them, wringing out a dishcloth. "Now, lets finish this up before they have enough time to really get in trouble."</p><p>~*~</p><p>Judging by the sheer amount of food eaten by everyone, Dean would say that dinner was a success. They talked over their meals, and Dean brought out more than one round of beers from the fridge. Before they knew it, it was past midnight and they were all laughing as Claire told the story of how Kaia made the mistake of trying to teach her to paint, describing how Claire had somehow managed to get watercolor paint in her hair and given herself random color splotches for days afterwards. Kaia herself was yawning and leaning her head on Claire's shoulder, her eyes drifting closed. How had it gotten so late so quickly? </p><p>Dean couldn't remember the last time he'd moved in his chair. His hands were freezing, and he could feel his toes beginning to go numb. He wondered if anyone else noticed or if they were too polite to say they were uncomfortable. Then again, when had he ever known Claire to be too polite? Dean rubbed his hands together, trying to get some warmth into them.</p><p>As if he knew what was going on, Cas reached over and wrapped his hands around Dean's. Now that Cas was human, he was usually a furnace, but today his fingers were cold and dry. Dean appreciated the gesture all the same. </p><p>"Okay lovebirds," Jody said abruptly. She stood up, bringing her plate over to the counter. "I'm gonna go crash. See you tomorrow." She pinched Claire's cheek, much to Claire's obvious displeasure, and clapped a hand on Dean and Cas's shoulders before disappearing through the doorway.</p><p>"'think I'm gonna go too," Kaia muttered from Claire's shoulder. She pushed herself up and followed where Jody had left a moment before. </p><p>"It is getting late Dean," Cas said, "we should <em>all</em> go to bed."</p><p>"Yeah, yeah I'll be there in a second. You got Jack?"</p><p>Cas looked over at Jack, who was leaning with his head against the wall and his eyes closed, all but dead to the world. For all that Jack claimed he didn't need sleep, he sure did seem to like it. He also seemed to like it when one of them put him to bed and kissed him goodnight like a father was supposed to do with his kid. It was so easy sometimes to forget that he was only four. Dean thought that Jack would have liked the chance to be a child before all of this happened, and Cas would have liked to get to raise him the way he deserved. Dean would be lying to himself if he said he hadn't imagined what it would be like to raise Jack with Cas as his kid. Maybe in another universe they did.</p><p>"Yes, I'll take care of him tonight," Cas said. He squeezed Dean's hands one more time before standing up to wake Jack and lead him back to his room. </p><p>It was quiet as Claire and Dean finished their beers and cleaned up whatever food was left, working silently together. </p><p>This was the only chance he was going to get now. </p><p>"Hey Claire, before you leave I wanna run something by you."</p><p>"Shoot." Claire pulled herself up to sit on the countertop. </p><p>"I think I found a case."</p><p>Claire brought her hand to her chest in shock. "You? A case? Wow Dean, I'm impressed."</p><p>"Yeah yeah, quit it. This is serious."</p><p>"What do you got?"</p><p>Dean filled her in on all the details he could remember off the top of his head, the place, the murders, what he thought was doing it.</p><p>Claire's brow furrowed. "Normally vamps aren't that organized."</p><p>"Believe me, I know. But please, I wouldn't put this on you if I didn't think it was real and if I didn't think you could handle it."</p><p>Claire paused for a moment, and then nodded solemnly. "I'll look into it as soon as we're done with the case we're on now."</p><p>"Thanks kid."</p><p>"One question though."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Why all the secrecy? I mean, couldn't you just tell Sam or Jody to go look into it? And why did you wait until now to ask?"</p><p>"That's more than one question," Dean joked. Claire raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms, waiting for an answer. Dean decided to be honest. "Cas," he answered, "we promised to be done with all of that. No more hunting. No more dying. No more getting hurt on each other's behalf." </p><p>"So you went behind his back and found a case to pawn off," Claire said, quick as a whip. "You're a damn idiot Dean Winchester." </p><p>Dean laughed. That was certainly one way to put it. Then her face softened into an expression usually reserved for when she didn't think Jody was looking. "You really love him don't you?"</p><p>"Yeah," Dean said, "I do."</p><p>"Good. Because if you break his heart, I will never forgive you."</p><p>"If I ever break his heart, I'll hand you the gun to shoot me myself," Dean replied, only half joking.</p><p> Claire smiled then, and once again, Dean was shocked by how much she looked like Cas. He couldn't imagine that smile coming from Jimmy. "Goodnight Dean." She hopped off the table and pulled him into a hug before leaving to go join her girlfriend.</p><p>Dean felt a shiver creep down his spine as he placed the last of the plates in the sink to deal with in the morning, and he thought he felt a drop of water creep down his face, but when he reached up, there was nothing there. He forced himself to exhale. He was just being paranoid. He walked out the doorway to go join Cas in their warm bed and get away from the freezing halls.</p><p>He really needed to get that damn air conditioner fixed.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Surprise! I'm back! Sorry about the serious delay in this chapter, but I hope the length made up for it. I had some stuff come up with my university and with work and I just didn't have the energy or time to write as consistently as I want to. Thank god for the COVID vaccine making me take two days off to rest for once in my life.<br/>As usual, if you spotted any grammar mistakes, please feel free to tell me.<br/>Have you guys begun to guess where this is going? Please feel free to scream at me in the comments.<br/>I love you all and I hope you have a wonderful evening.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
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